• Share full article


Supported by

You Matched With Someone Really Great Online. This Is Her Ghostwriter.

Meredith Golden charges a small clientele $2,000 a month to help them win at dating apps.

dating app ghostwriter

By Jonah Engel Bromwich

Meredith Golden keeps two lists of guys you absolutely should not date.

There’s her “creep” list, which names a few dozen men who have said something racist, made a joke about pedophilia or otherwise acted inexcusably on a date.

She also has a “we don’t date them” list that includes about 20 men. “They’re not horrible,” she said, but still definitively “undateable.” Like the one who, she said, without explanation or warning, started flossing at the table during a first date.

Ms. Golden, 43, has developed these no-fly lists in her four years as a dating app ghostwriter . For $2,000 a month, she swipes, chats and charms, impersonating her clients. Once she has earned a client a date, she tags them in and becomes a more traditional dating coach, reviewing each encounter in detailed post-mortems, helping to guide their next moves. Some clients disclose to their dates that they have used Ms. Golden’s services, and others do not.

The IRL part of dating is frequently the scariest. But the people who employ Ms. Golden, who range in age from 22 to 71, often have a hard time getting situated in a swipey world . Some are new to dating entirely and appreciate the hand-holding. Others admit that the last time they were single, many of the apps du jour did not exist.

One of her clients, a single mother who lives in Manhattan, said that after her divorce she had no idea how to create a dating profile or how to talk to people on dates. (The client asked not to be identified, because she had not told the man she was dating that she had used Ms. Golden’s services.)

Ms. Golden guided her for a month, explaining, for instance, that a guy who messaged at 11 p.m. was definitely looking for sex.

“I was already out with friends, and I was like, ‘O.K., it could be O.K.,’” the woman recalled thinking before Ms. Golden translated the message. “I don’t know!”

Kim Nicewonder, 51, who produces and directs the Miss Virginia beauty pageant, had a different problem. She lived in Bristol, Va., and dating opportunities on the ground were rare. Ms. Golden helped her start looking in Charlotte, Raleigh and Atlanta. After a month, she met her current partner, a man she calls the love of her life. She plans to marry him.

“He’s so handsome,” Ms. Nicewonder said. “He’s about 6'3, he has a very distinguished look. He’s a Christian, he’s a great father, he’s a professional. He’s like everything I ever wanted.”

Tone is essential to Ms. Golden’s — and her clients’ — success. She learns to imitate their conversational styles through the use of an eight-page intake form that includes specific questions: How do you take your coffee? Have you ever “swam with dolphins or stingrays or enormous turtles”?

By the time a potential client has answered those questions and had an hourlong introductory conversation, Ms. Golden thinks she can mimic them convincingly enough — down to whether they would type “gonna” or “going to” — to start chatting.

Ms. Golden, who has been covered by The Cut and CNBC , upholds certain rules for all of her clients. She subscribes to a less-is-more mind-set, and much of the work she does is in how little she says. She will not get caught in volleys of conversation, and judges prospective dates who do so.

“They should be wondering more about me, and I’m not going to give it all to them right then and there,” she said. “When I’m messaging someone and they respond right away I’m like, chill out, eager beaver.”

Outside of the $2,000 package (“the whole shebang”) she offers other services: a dating diagnosis (analysis and coaching) for $600 and her “perfect profile” service for $300. She is amazed at how often her clients come to her with a lineup of pictures that look like mug shots, or in which they are standing with three friends and are thus impossible to identify.

Ms. Golden picks the best of what they have to offer (clear portraits in which they are distinct and seem happy) or, in some cases, sends them to professional photographers.

Ms. Golden is cool with helping her busy clients hook up if they are not eager to enter a more serious relationship. But, though she says she is not a romantic, she is more often focused on a lifetime partnership. (It’s the reason she favors Bumble and Hinge over Tinder. “Most of the people on it aren’t looking for relationships,” she said. “They just want to have some fun.”)

A mother of two sons, she treats her clients protectively, warning them not to drink too much and never to get in a car with a stranger. Perhaps that’s why she is so often hired by her clients’ mothers. She said that, when she gains new customers in this way, the daughters are often more willing to try the service than the sons.

“Moms of men approach me, and the men are like, no way,” Ms Golden said. “Which I understand — they’re like, ‘I don’t want my mother involved in my dating life.’ But I think it’s so sweet, and truthfully if either of my boys needed help I would hire me for them as well.”

She paused, thinking.

“Although they’re probably not going to use me,” she said. “But! I would make sure they have perfect profiles.”

Jonah Bromwich is based in New York. He writes for the Style section. More about Jonah Engel Bromwich

A Guide to Better Romantic Relationships

Looking to build a long-lasting partnership we can help..

Overwhelmed by dating apps, profiles and not-quite-matches? Here’s how to start fresh .

We asked 14 psychologists, counselors and therapists for book recommendations that can help nourish relationships. These seven titles rose to the top of the list .

Ignoring a partner in favor of your phone, or “phubbing,” can lead to feelings of distrust and ostracism. Here’s how to stop .

Fighting with your partner? These sentences can help you share grievances in a more constructive way . And here are the things you should avoid saying .

Managing libido differences  is a common part of relationships. Here’s some advice that may help .

Do you worry that you and your partner are growing apart? Here are simple but helpful questions to ask before it is too late .


How to Work as an Online Dating Ghostwriter

' src=

Are you a regular Cyrano de Bergerac with your writing? Are you able to see and write about a person’s best qualities, and present their flaws as endearing quirks? Then you just might have what it takes to become an online dating ghostwriter.

  • Survey Junkie - The #1 survey site that doesn't suck. Short surveys, high payouts, simply the best.
  • Daily Goodie Box - Get a GIANT box of free samples to test out and try shipped right to you at no cost!
  • Nielsen - Download their app and get paid $50!

When people are on dating sites, people quickly browse photos and profiles before deciding on whether they’re someone who’s worth talking to.

So aside from a gorgeous photo, people on dating apps want their profiles to be as engaging as possible.

The problem is, not everyone can write in an attention-grabbing way, and that’s where ghostwriters can help.

In today’s article, you’ll learn what an online dating ghostwriter does and how to start working from home as one.

What Does an Online Dating Ghostwriter Do?

As far as freelance writing jobs go, creating dating profiles is a bit out of the ordinary, but no less legit.

An online dating ghostwriter helps their clients create interesting profiles on dating apps.

Their clients are usually those who suck at writing or those for whom English is not the first language but who want to be understood clearly.

What happens, though, when a client matches with someone they like but they can’t maintain the conversation?

Online dating ghostwriters can help further by keeping the conversation flowing. Essentially, they pretend to be their clients, at least until their clients feel ready to take over or actually meet their match in person.

What skills do you need to have?

It does take a certain skill set to be great at this job.

You’ll have to be able to write in a creative and engaging way that mirrors your potential client, whether they’re male or female and whatever their sexual orientation may be.

Knowing how to inject just the right amount of humor into your writing will be a plus factor. A profile that’s funny enough to make potential dates smile makes your clients sound confident but not too full of themselves.

Having a great personality also goes a long way toward building rapport with clients and getting more. They have to be able to trust you enough to have you write their profiles and chat on their behalf if they want you to.

How much can a dating app ghostwriter make?

Depending on your level of experience and expertise, you can start charging $80 to $100 per profile. Some veteran dating writers can make $200 to $300 per profile.

If you get a job chatting and messaging with your clients’ potential dates, you can start making $13 to $17 per hour, which can go up to $30 to even $50 an hour for more experienced ghostwriters.

As your experience grows and your satisfied clientele grows in number, you can charge higher fees if you’re going freelance on your own, or ask for a raise if you work for an agency or a dating site.

Where To Apply for Online Dating Ghostwriter Jobs

Now that you know a bit more about being a ghostwriter, here are some places where you can find online dating ghostwriter jobs.

1. Dating Assistant Websites

Helping people find love is an entire industry, so it shouldn’t be a surprise that dating assistants are a thing.

Here are some dating assistant websites that often have openings for dating site ghostwriters.

Virtual Dating Assistants is an Atlanta-based matchmaking and elite dating service that helps their clients identify and highlight their best characteristics to ensure they get dates with their most compatible matches.

They continually hire contractors for their writing services. To apply, email careers[at]VIDAselect[dot]com with the subject line “VIDA Select Creative Writer” with a short video introducing yourself.

When your application has been reviewed, you’ll get contacted for a phone interview. If they think you’re qualified, you’ll be invited to complete an assessment, and if you pass that, you’ll be offered the job.

e-Cyrano is constantly hiring writers to interview dating applicants and write fun and interesting profiles for them.

Their fees range between $78-$120 per completed profile. This is strictly part-time freelance work and you can expect 1-2 profiles per week if hired.

They are quite selective in their hiring process so make sure your submitted example really stands out.

Personal Dating Assistants

This site caters mostly to men seeking women for love and companionship. Personal dating assistants are expected to do a number of tasks on a part-time to full-time basis:

dating app ghostwriter

As you can probably tell from the duties described above, PDA offers a suite of services for its clients, from profile creation to date coaching and beyond.

As a contracted writer, you would probably be hired to write dating profiles, emails, and text exchanges.

The pay is $14 per hour, plus a 30% performance bonus for outstanding assistants.

The PDA application procedure is interesting, to say the least.

You are expected to talk about your dating history as evidence that you can do this job. Links to your personal website and online dating profile are appreciated.


ProfileHelper.com’s dating coaches have helped over 25,000 singles improve their online dating lives since they started in 2005.

They sometimes post openings for dating profile ghostwriters and dating coaches, but for now, email your resume to profilehelper[at]gmail[dot]com to be considered.

2. Start with a Google Search

Input the search term ‘online dating ghostwriter’ or ‘online dating assistant’ into Google and you’ll be served with several different search results that mention writing and rewriting of dating profiles.

You’ll also find want ads for dating articles, which are not a bad way to get started in this line of work and may help eventually qualify you to work at ViDA and/or PDA.

3. Contact Online Dating Sites

Match.com, Bumble, Tinder, eHarmony, and other online dating sites often post openings for online dating writers.

It doesn’t hurt to reach out to them and inquire, even if there is nothing posted directly on the site. Alternately, you can try inputting online dating site names into job boards on Indeed, Monster, and GlassDoor.

4. Start Your Own Ghostwriting Service

Many online dating ghostwriters get their start by helping out their friends and colleagues with their dating profiles. If they are successful, they are often referred to others.

This can snowball into a full-blown business, as evidenced by Scott Valdez of ViDA .

Ready to be a dating ghostwriter?

As an online dating site ghostwriter, you might raise a few eyebrows regarding the ethical implications of your side gig.

What you do—and won’t do—for your clients will likely need to be established and then reestablished several times. This gig will also give you a newfound appreciation of the nuances of human psychology. At least it won’t be a boring job, and it will certainly help you out in your own dating experiences.

Plus, it can give you a chance to eventually become a dating consultant and even start your own business and make a living out of it.

READ THIS NEXT: The EASIEST ways to make money online. See how.

  • Share on Facebook
  • Share on Twitter

More Ways to Make Money

dating app ghostwriter

The HOTTEST New Way to Make Money in 2021

This is one of the best ways to make real money online. Don't pass this one up.

Continue Reading

dating app ghostwriter

25 Passive Income Ideas that Generate Money While You Sleep

Are you looking for ways to earn money even when you sleep? If so, we've listed 25 fool-proof ways of earning passive income online at the comforts of your own home.

dating app ghostwriter

How to Make Money Beekeeping from Home

Wondering how to make money beekeeping from home? Read on to learn everything you need to know to launch this business.

dating app ghostwriter

Jobs for Pregnant Women: 28 Possibilities to Explore

Don’t let the added stress of looking for work get you down. I found 28 jobs for pregnant women that you can do to make extra cash.

dating app ghostwriter

From Trash to Cash: Car Battery Recycling for Cash

Did you know you can protect the environment by making car battery recycling for cash a habit every time your battery dies? Here’s how.

PRESENTING: A dating app ghostwriter and consultant who charges $2,500 a month shares what her job is like — and her best tips for creating the perfect profile

After Meredith Golden launched her business, Spoon Meet Spoon , in 2015, she saw steadily rising interest in her dating app ghostwriting and coaching services.

Today, she spends 12 to 14 hours a day helping clients create intriguing profiles on Bumble, Hinge, Match, Coffee Meets Bagel, OK Cupid, and more. Golden gets paid anywhere from $300 to perfect dating profiles to $2,500 per month to pretend to be her clients online by liking, swiping, and chatting with potential matches.

She recommended having a great first photo to optimize your matches and says online daters should avoid using apps after 5 p.m. on weekends if they're looking for a genuine connection.

"Sometimes it's just easier to get in the passenger seat and let someone else drive in the beginning — and I'm always ready to take the wheel," Golden said.

Subscribe here to read our feature: I charge clients up to $2,500 a month to ghostwrite their dating profiles and connect with potential matches. Here's my advice for perfecting your dating profile, and why I never message people on the weekends.

dating app ghostwriter

Watch: Celebrities get this golden facial before red carpet events

dating app ghostwriter

  • Main content

Things you buy through our links may earn Vox Media a commission

The Matchmaker Who Flirts on Dating Apps for You

dating app ghostwriter

How do you succeed on Tinder without really trying? Some New York singles have it figured out: They pay a dating-app ghostwriter to do the flirting for them. That’s right, ladies. The next time a guy sends you a particularly witty opener on Coffee Meets Bagel, consider the possibility that it was written by a 41-year-old married mother of two on the Upper West Side.

That would be Meredith Golden , New York City’s Tinder whisperer. I met the psychotherapist-turned-dating-coach last month, and she walked me through how she helps her clients succeed on dating apps — by impersonating them.

Like a modern-day Cyrano de Bergerac with the bubbly cadence of Reese Witherspoon, Golden spends her days swiping, heart-ing, and messaging flirty one-liners on behalf of her single clients. Sitting at her headquarters — the large oak dining table in her classically decorated apartment — she showed me a folder on her iPhone home screen titled “WORK.” Inside, there are a dozen dating apps, like Bumble, The League, JSwipe, and OkCupid. Golden logs in and out of all of them throughout each day, finding her clients appropriate matches and setting up first dates.

Though Golden has never personally used a dating app — she met her wonderful, adorable husband through friends 16 years ago — she advertises herself as an expert. When JDate launched in the late ‘90s, she got a reputation in her social circle for being a savvy dating-profile writer. Since then, she has helped several friends find their matches online. She started charging for her services almost two years ago, when strangers began asking for her help.

Golden is superior at the dating-app game, she told me, because she comes at it from a fresh, unbiased perspective. She may impersonate her clients online, but she does not feel the weight of their emotional baggage. “I don’t have their relationship history or their childhood … their divorce, whatever it is,” she explained. “I just focus!”

dating app ghostwriter

To make sure everything stays organized, Golden works with no more than a dozen clients at a time. She keeps a regular schedule, too, practicing her particular brand of dating subterfuge during normal business hours, Monday through Friday. (No one should be perusing Tinder on the weekend, anyway, she said. Too desperate.)

According to Golden, she is especially successful when she poses as a straight male client. First of all, she sends the guy to a professional photographer to get some decent photos. Men “just don’t think,” she sighed. “The bathroom selfie kills me.” After beautifying her client’s dating-app profiles, Golden starts impersonating him, affecting that confident, assured posture ladies love. A lot of guys on dating apps never sack up and ask for a first date; Golden makes her (client’s) move right away.

“I think I’m a dream when a girl is communicating with me,” she said proudly. “Cause I know what she wants, and I’m just like, banging it out. Asking for the meet and getting it.”

Golden is not doing anything untoward, she insists. All she does is swipe, message, and set up first meetings; clients show up to the dates and take the communication from there. When she messages potential matches, Golden typically comments on their photos: What a cute dog! Oh, your kids live in the city, how lucky are you? She types out full sentences, and she does not use emoji, and she certainly does not use innuendo. “I’m not gonna say like, ‘How big are your feet?’” she giggled.

Ironically enough, Golden’s straightforward style stands out in the online-dating world, which is replete with game-playing. I asked her if she had ever been rejected on one of the apps. “Nope,” she chirped, without a pause.

“Just let me say, it’s not me ,” she added. “I’m not like, tooting my own horn.”

Golden does not worry about the singles on the other end of the line feeling duped; to this day, she has never been caught impersonating anyone. “The banter is so quick,” she insisted. Her client list is private, of course.

Most of Golden’s clients are professionals in their mid-30s or older and the majority of them live in Manhattan, where outsourcing is a regular part of the upper-middle-class lifestyle. The singles paying Golden to flirt with their Bumble or OKCupid matches are used to paying other people to do their laundry, deliver their meals, and blow-dry their hair on demand. Golden says some of her clients come to her because they need extra help presenting themselves appropriately online, and some of them are just busy and tired of constantly assessing potential life partners on a six-inch screen.

Clients pay Golden $900 for the first month of her services, $700 for the second, and $500 for each month after. Traditional matchmakers charge thousands of dollars to set clients up on dates, Golden noted, and employing one comes with some stigma.

“If you were single, and someone says to you, ‘Oh I’m a matchmaker, I’m working with Abe Schmabe. I’d like to set you up with him,’ your initial thought is going to be, Well, what’s wrong with him that he can’t get a date on his own? ” Golden posited. “Doesn’t necessarily mean that there’s something wrong with him, right? But that is the negative connotation. In working with me, that is removed, because no one knows that there’s someone facilitating for them, because I’m posing as them.”

Traditional matchmakers typically run background checks on the singles they send their clients to meet, but Golden cannot do the same, since she is working through the apps. She often recognizes the people she swipes across, however. “Oh, I like him so much,” she said, pointing to a potential match on a female client’s account on The League. “See, I know him from another client.” She “liked” him and moved on to the next.

“Oh, he has a nice smile. He looks happy,” she commented about a gray-haired guy with glasses. He got a like. The next guy was not so lucky. “Okay he’s lying about his age,” she determined. “He’s an investment banker … I don’t know that he’s cute enough for her.”

“I’m just in and out of all the different apps all day long,” Golden explained. She also works overtime.

“Before I’m going to sleep, when I’m putting my kids to bed, and I’m lying with them for an hour as they’re drifting off, I’ll go back at the end of the night and recheck [all the apps], just to see if there’s anything, if anyone responded,” she said.

Over the last two years, Golden has swiped across the face of nearly every single person in Manhattan. She rarely forgets anybody, because her memory is “indelible,” she told me. “It’s just this weird quirk that I have.” I asked her if she keeps a spreadsheet of the thousands of people she interacts with online, and she said nope, no need. At one point during our afternoon together, she took a call from a male client and ran through the names of 14 different women with him without checking her notes once — I watched.

The funny thing is, Golden sometimes has to remind herself that all of the people she knows do not necessarily know her.

“There was a guy I used to see on all the dating apps,” she recalled. “I guess he’s in a relationship, because I don’t see him anymore. But I saw him — he must live like a block from me — I saw him on the street! It was like a celebrity sighting for me. I thought he was so cute, and I had to stop myself from being like, ‘What’s up Josh!’ Because I know so much about him, but he has no clue he’s been having this conversation with me. So yeah, I stopped myself.”

The only time Golden ran into real trouble keeping up her scheme was the time she left the country for vacation. Since many dating apps use GPS to identify users’ locations, she had to be careful not to impersonate anyone for the duration of her trip. “When I went to Mexico, I was like, ‘I’m out for the week,’” she laughed. “How is this going to be explained, right?”

Her clients swiped for themselves for a few days, and then she came back to fix it all for them.

  • cut homepage lede
  • love and war
  • dating apps
  • online dating
  • meredith golden

The Cut Shop

Most viewed stories.

  • Not Everyone Is Convinced Kate Middleton Is ‘Doing Well’
  • All the Celebs Who Turned Down J.Lo’s Movie Musical
  • Welcome to Fyre Fest: Wonka Edition
  • How I Got Scammed Out of $50,000  
  • What ‘Idiot’ Yelled at Rebecca Ferguson on Set?
  • The Mom Who Left Her Husband at 20 Weeks Pregnant

Editor’s Picks

dating app ghostwriter

Most Popular

What is your email.

This email will be used to sign into all New York sites. By submitting your email, you agree to our Terms and Privacy Policy and to receive email correspondence from us.

Sign In To Continue Reading

Create your free account.

Password must be at least 8 characters and contain:

  • Lower case letters (a-z)
  • Upper case letters (A-Z)
  • Numbers (0-9)
  • Special Characters (!@#$%^&*)

As part of your account, you’ll receive occasional updates and offers from New York , which you can opt out of anytime.

clock This article was published more than  6 years ago

5 Tinder do’s and don’ts from a dating-app ghostwriter

dating app ghostwriter

Last month we revisited the Solo-ish archives and highlighted nine tips to boost your online-dating game . You’re rocking all those, I’m sure, and are ready for more. Last week I spoke to  Meredith Golden , a married mother of two, who, for $2,000 a month will take over your dating apps and impersonate you — doing all the matching and messaging on your behalf. Here are her do’s and don’ts for finding a valentine online.

Don’t ask someone “Hey, what are you looking for?”  Go ahead and note what kind of relationship you’re looking for in your bio — experts usually recommend doing that — but avoid asking about specific character traits.   Men are more inclined to ask this question than women are, Golden says. And while it might seem innocuous, Golden thinks it gets you nowhere. “It’s such a silly question,” she says. Because even the “right” answers don’t mean much until you’ve met in person and can judge whether or not you have chemistry. “Just because someone’s perfect on paper, that doesn’t mean you’re going to mesh well,” Golden adds.

I can confirm this one from personal experience. While on an app date this fall, my date kept asking what I was looking for and not-so-subtly letting me know he fit the criteria. In his mind, maybe, but not in mine.

Hope Hicks, it’s time to dump Rob Porter

Keep the conversation moving.  A big rule of dating apps is just simple manners, Golden says. “If someone asks you a question, respond and ask a question back,” Golden says, adding that you should respond in a timely manner — back and forth twice a day so that you don’t lose momentum. This one sounds so easy, and yet anyone who’s on dating apps will tell you, it’s apparently very difficult to follow.

Be consistent. Golden meets with singles who will say something like “Wednesday’s my dating-app day.” It doesn’t really work that way, Golden says. “You can’t be on for 16 hours a day,” she notes but adds that if someone consistently spends 30 minutes a day swiping and messaging, Monday through Friday, that could yield them one date a week.

After three to four days of chatting, schedule a date — or move on. You have to do more than message consistently to make dating apps work for you. That person who messages consistently, asking about your day, your week, your weekend — over several weeks or weekends — without asking you out? It’s not that your answers aren’t riveting. He just wants a pen pal. “They’re on there to boost their ego,” Golden says. “They’re dating app recreationalists; they’re just on it for sport.”

Golden remembers messaging with one guy, on behalf of a client, and in an attempt to nudge him to ask her (client) out, Golden said something about how much more fun she was in person. He responded by saying that he’s never met anyone from an app and and he’s never going to. “I really hate my job,” she remembers him saying, “and this is a good way to spend my day.”

To weed out the office pen pals, Golden suggests asking someone out after three to four days of messaging. It’s fine if you schedule a week or two weeks out — just make sure you get something on the books. If a date isn’t happening in that time frame, unmatch and move on.

When you’re scheduling that date, stay in the app. When someone asks for a phone number in an effort to convert the conversation to texting and then schedule a date, there’s a high drop-off rate. So “keep it in the app until you’re scheduled,” Golden suggests.

How to survive a boring date — and even enjoy it

Please stop yelling in your dating-app profiles. It’s not helping.

Men say they want smart, successful women. So why do these women have trouble dating?

dating app ghostwriter

Inside the world of dating profile ghostwriters

Business is booming for profile-preeners — but is it fair to give a romantic edge to the wealthy, by nicole karlis.

In modern retellings of the fairytale "Cinderella," the story's heroine struggles to find a suitable outfit that would enable her to attract a partner of her choice. Likewise, for centuries humans saw fashion as the key to getting an edge in attracting the opposite sex. Yet with the advent of online dating, modern-day Cinderellas of all genders may find themselves gravitating towards services that advertise their sexuality in a more ethereal way: through ghostwritten profiles and professionally–staged photographs, which have largely supplanted ball gowns and slippers as the first sight that a potential digital suitor sees when evaluating a romantic prospect.

In the past two decades, online dating went from being a  stigmatized way to find love to an industry that market forecasters predict will reach $3.2 billion by 2020. An estimated 49 million singles have dabbled in online dating at least once, and one researcher found  that 22 percent of straight couples and 67 percent of gay couples met online. Yet in order to cope with the anxiety that accompanies the advertorial aspects of online dating, some have turned to professional help to get ahead — creating a cottage industry of professionals who make a living ghostwriting and preening others' online profiles.

The idea of hiring a professional to write your online dating profile might seem a little uncanny. After all, the goal of dating is to find someone who will love you for you . Yet for those who can afford the oft-pricey services, outsourcing the labor of online dating is just another way to save time and improve one's prospects.

“Everyone is doing online dating, and now everyone is trying to optimize themselves and make themselves stand out more because there is a lot of competition,” Alex McDermott, the co-founder of Pimp My Profile, told Salon. “I think that what we are doing is going to be as common as Tinder down the road — online dating isn’t going anywhere.”

While there is no way to officially quantify the growth of these mom-and-pop profile–writing businesses, every one Salon spoke with said that they had experienced growth over the last couple of years. McDermott and his co-founder, Gillian Walker, started their business in 2015 after they both individually suffered the chaotic world of online dating.

“We were on Tinder seeing some atrocities out there,” said Walker, who was a life coach prior to founding Pimp My Profile.

While the two started their company four years ago, they said business has really taken off over the last 18 months. On average they have 15 to 20 clients a week, although it varies seasonally. Pimp My Profile offers three packages: the cheapest costs $99.99, a service that is exclusively for messaging. In that package, a client receives ten pre-written messages penned by Walker or their freelance writers, specifically tailored to the type of person the client wants to go on a date with. For $199.99, online daters can hire the company to write their profile and three opening messages, in addition to getting them to weigh in on the client’s picture selection. Finally, for $399.99, users can get a personal consultation with Walker and professional photo editing, in addition to what is offered in the second package. The demographic of clients, Walker says, “range all over the map.”

“There are many variables as to why people come to us,” she says. “Men on average are anywhere from college students to someone in their seventies, women primarily are a little older and are often times reentering the dating game after a long-term relationship, or they are really successful and don’t have the time for it. They might be really busy with their career.”

Walker says the main motivator for people to seek out their services is that many struggle to write about themselves. Their business, Walker says, helps home in on a person’s best features so that they can put their “best foot forward for online dating.”

“We have them answer a knee-deep questionnaire and I stalk them on Facebook because I want to get a vibe for who they are, so I can write something that feels authentic to them,” she says. “I want the people they are matching with to get an authentic person.”

The emphasis on "authenticity" came up often in my interviews with online dating profile writers. Yet the irony, of course, is that those who use such services aren't truly authentic — they are hiring ghostwriters to sound like them. Likewise, if everyone began to use such services, wouldn't we all be speaking to other ghostwriters, none of us authentic at all?

“We don’t misrepresent someone or make them into someone they’re not,” Joshua Pompey, who owns online dating profile consulting company Next Evolution Matchmaking, told Salon. “If somebody is not [s]illy, we aren’t going to make their profile silly. We take all the best aspects of who they are we highlight their best self based on that.”

Pompey started his profile-writing company in 2009. Since then, he says that he and staff have written over 20,000 profiles. Pompey says he has 15 writers who work for him, all who must be “hand-trained” by him, have a background in writing, and possess a Master’s degree. Customers pay $199 to get a written online dating profile that can be customized for any desktop website like Match.com or OKCupid, with unlimited revisions for up to 10 days, and a lifetime photo gallery review. Customers who use a swipe dating app, like Tinder or Bumble, can receive a three-sentence add-on for $24.99. Similar to Pimp My Profile, Pompey’s company has its clients fill out a questionnaire.

Pompey said the quality of the writing matters, and there is an art to it when it comes to trying to attract a mate.

“I’ll give you an example — there is a big difference between saying ‘I want and hope to meet a man who is kind and intelligent,' and, ‘The perfect guy for me is kind and intelligent,’” he said. “The latter sounds more confident."

Eric Resnick has been in the business of writing online dating profiles since 2004, when he worked at Match.com back when they had writers on staff to pen profiles. “I was their highest rated writer,” he told Salon. Once the feature was no longer offered to users, he started his own business called Profile Helper in 2005. Resnick has made his living off of that ever since. Resnick’s company offers three different packages that range from $49.95 to $199.95. The highest tier includes an hour one-on-one consultation with Resnick, which he says is the most popular package. His workload ranges from having one to 15 clients a day.

Unintentionally or not, many of these online dating profile-writers toe the line between profile consultant and dating coach. Resnick says his average client is at least 40 years old, and that they are often looking for a serious relationship, yet struggle to find dates online.

“I get calls all the time from people who are spending four to five hours a day and they are wondering what is wrong with them,” he said. “I tell them they are giving it too much power and they are on too many sites, they are letting the sites run them, and this is an important thing because dating sites don’t necessarily have the same goal as the people on them.”

“You don’t realize it, but you become the product,” he said.

Tinder, which is owned by the Match Group, had at least 4.1 million paying users in 2018. Resnick added that including photo selection as part of his company's package is crucial, as photos matter just as much as the actual text of one's profile.

“It is amazing how many people don’t smile in their photos, or wear sunglasses so you can’t see their eyes,” he said. Resnick said the number of photos posted matters, too.

“You don’t want to post less than four because you might seem sketchy, and anything much more than seven you start to look like a narcissist,” he said.

The visual emphasis in many dating apps has laid the foundation for professional photographers to take part in this burgeoning industry. Eddie Hernandez, a professional photographer based in San Francisco, specializes in online dating photos. Though Hernandez also shoots other social media portraits (like LinkedIn headshots), he says online dating photos make up about half of his business. His customers can choose four “looks,” which include wardrobe and location changes, for $875. His clientele vary, he says, from men and women in their mid twenties to early sixties, those who are newly single via a divorce or spousal death, or those who are more introverted and haven’t tried online dating before. As with the profile-writers, Hernandez says authenticity in photos is key.

“I wouldn’t take anyone to a specific location if they haven’t gone there," he told Salon. "I find ways that they would appear like on a first date or with friends or happy hour after work, trying to replicate environments they have been in but I provide guidance," he continued. "I want them to look good, to be visible, but I don’t want it to be a portrait or something that was obviously taken by a photographer.”

This professional-help approach to dating is understandable to those who have experienced how exhausting online dating can be. If hired assistance can save time and build confidence, then hiring someone to write your profile might be a no-brainer (assuming you can afford it). One might argue that online dating is inherently inauthentic, given that it is mediated by for-profit companies who arbitrarily choose prompts to create a simulated, gamified version of real-life interaction. Swiping and scrolling through photos to spark attraction does not always translate to a real-life connection. Likewise, some people are, by dint of talent or the genetic lottery, innately better at online dating. And if dating feels like a zero-sum game where the odds are never in your favor, hiring a professional writer and photographer seems like a clever way to get an edge.

Profile consultants may appear as an additional layer of professionalization intruding in the romantic realm, supposedly sacrosanct. But the reality is that finding an ideal long-term partner has long been a transactional affair in the West. Marriage in colonial America was essentially a business deal, where a woman gave up her right as an individual; likewise, as women lacked the right to vote until the early twentieth century, their freedom to participate in the political sphere was, until suffrage, tied to convincing their husbands to advocate for them.

Notably, the advent of the dating profile consulting industry may give an edge to the wealthier daters who can afford it. Not everyone has the means to put themselves ahead of the competition by paying hundreds of dollars to make their profile stand out. This, in and of itself, will position wealthy people to be more successful, even in an ethereal, digital realm. On the other hand, everyone has to make a living, and for writers and photographers working in the arts industry (and whose wages are on the decline), it seems to be a fruitful gig.

Nicole Karlis is a senior writer at Salon, specializing in health and science. Tweet her @nicolekarlis .

Related Topics ------------------------------------------

Related articles.

dating app ghostwriter

Dating profile ghostwriter reflects on 'very troubling' profession

Vida dating's founder defends his business model.

Sorboni Banerjee reports

TAMPA, Fla. - New dating platforms are bringing a new meaning to the idea of a “blind date.” If you use dating apps, you could be talking to a ghostwriter and never know it.

A "one-of-a-kind writing opportunity" is posted on Craigslist: Vida Dating hires ghostwriters to get dates for their clients on well-known sites and apps including Match, OkCupid, Tinder, and Bumble.

The job is a “closer” -- someone who can craft charming profiles for clients, write creative ice breakers and seal the deal -- close that date. They even handle all the back and forth messages for a client. 

But the prospective date has no idea they’re talking to a hired writer.

“We will ultimately search for your matches find the ones that check all your boxes, send engaging messages, and set up your dates,” explained Vida’s founder, Scott Valdez.

Valdez says he got the idea after he successfully hired someone on Craigslist to handle his online dating.

“There's nothing illegal about writing for someone else. People don't even write their own books these days and they put their name on it,” Valdez continued.

He found it so successful that he modeled his business after it, hiring writers to handle your love life.  

“As a closer, as a ghostwriter, I had no contact with the client I was pretending to be, so I had no way of knowing if they were creepy, dangerous, or married,” offered ‘Chloe Rose,’ one of the writers.

dating app ghostwriter

‘Chloe Rose’ worked as a ghostwriter for profiles through Vida Dating.

Chloe says what started as an entertaining way to make money quickly became uncomfortable. “Every day getting these Tinder messages from women and having to pretend to be this man and having to misrepresent myself was very troubling.”

If that was the case, Valdez wondered why she stuck with the job. “It's kind of strange she didn't just work two days -- she worked for months -- if she was so anti-everything.”

Chloe says her discomfort grew over how they were instructed to interact while being paid to impersonate male clients. 

“A big part of the training process at Vida included these manuals on the automatic date transition and how to get women to agree to a date so quickly,” she recalled. “We had to follow rules on how to be the alpha male and how to be unapologetic online because that's what women want. Women want the tough guy who is not going compliment a woman without a qualifier that kind of thing.”

We asked Valdez about the manuals he wrote.

“Being a confident man, nothing's changed," he replied. "Knowing what you want, being selective about who you want to meet, that's still universally attractive all around the world.” 

After initially defending the approach, he changed his tune when we asked about the emphasis on “the alpha male” diminishing women to score the date.

“There are certain things that worked a number of years ago that wouldn’t work in our ‘me too’ climate,” he conceded.

He then said they plan to draft updated manuals. 

“To anyone who questions the ethics of what we do, my response is they've never seen the way we encapsulate our clients’ personas, in many ways, [they] are more accurately than what they were doing before they hired us.”

Chloe held her ground. “The moral gray area for me is very clear. You're tricking them into going onto a date with a complete stranger.”

A Vida ghostwriter earns $14 to $18 an hour with bonuses for booking dates. Clients can pay anywhere from $360 to more than $1,440 per month. 

Hidden Gem

Online Dating Profile Writing

“I was so discouraged, never getting any matches.

Now, thanks to lydia, i feel confident while online dating.”, -anna, 35, usa, hi, i’m lydia.

Lydia stands against a wall. She is wearing a brown dress.

As an online dating profile writer, it is my mission to ensure your online dating experience is a success by helping you start conversations, go out on dates and find what you are looking for.

I’ve written 1000s of profiles, published books on the topic , and my reviews speak for themselves.

I know what works and what doesn’t.

Let me help you raise the bar and make an awesome first impression. 

Profiles That Stand Out


Each letter of your profile is typed by us with you in mind. The result is unique text and tone that accurate depicts your personality.

No templates. Ever.

Conversations start with curiosity. Our profiles spark curiosity with eye-catching language and invitations to engage.

We find and highlight what makes you unique.

When your profile flows seamlessly, people are more likely to read it from start to finish. Our profiles are flawless, and we format them for each sites specifications. Nothing gets left out, no matter the word-count.

Want to know more about our profiles? Let’s talk!

Email Address

Get To Know Lydia

I’m not just a creative writer. I am also a reader. 

I have read thousands upon thousands of online bios. As a former prospect researcher, it was my job to identify certain alumni with the propensity and capacity to give philanthropically. I’ve seen countless LinkedIn bios, company web bios and personal websites. I’ve learned what I like to see and what not to see.

I also have personal experience with online dating, I’m a world-traveler and educated in mental health counseling. I want to help people have success when online dating, and it all starts with the profile. 

Want to know more? Email me directly at [email protected] and let’s talk.

“Lydia summed up who I am and what I’m looking for, but in a casual way that comes off as professional, confident, and honest!”

Lydia sits on a chair facing off towards the left. She is wearing a flowy pink blouse and is smiling.

I know that your dating profile is much more than a simple introduction– it’s a representation of your personality, values, and character to potential partners. With limited space and so much to say, I know it can feel impossible to chose what to include, what to leave out, and how to show your authentic self through a screen. 

With a background in ghostwriting and an education in interpretation and linguistics, I take pride in finding the perfect language to convey nuanced messages and paint a complete picture of who you are and exactly what you are looking for. I’m a people person at heart, and my favorite part of my job is watching someone’s confidence grow as they get more comfortable talking about themselves. 

“I’m not sure I even have the words to relay how impressed I am with Aja.

I was completely floored by what she wrote! I feel like she was in my head. She took everything I wanted to get across and wrote it in a way I could never quite get right. Heck, she was able to relay things I hadn’t realized I should relay!”

Our Collaborative Process

We are an online company with traditional customer service. We are real writers, not AI, and are available to our clients every step of the way.  You are included in the process, not left in the dark.

You Chose Your Package

Based our your unique needs and preferences.

We Get to Know You

Through your choice of extesnive questionaire or one-on-one interview.

You Recieve A Profile

And respond with any thoughts, comments, or suggestions.

We Finish the Job

Incorporating your suggestions and completeing any additonal services, such as a photo review.

You Date With Confidence

And we are here as backup with support, resources, and advice.

Do You Write Profiles For People Over 50?

Yes! Absolutely. In fact, the majority of my clients are over 35

Will This Mean My Profile Is Inauthentic?

Absolutely not! If you answer the questions genuinely and authentically, then I will be able to write a profile that captures your essence. One thing I hear most often is, “I have a hard time writing about myself.” Totally natural. Having trouble writing your profile, then asking for help does not make you undatable. It makes you human. Your goal is to make connections online, start meaningful conversations, and go out on dates. p.s. no one needs to know.

Which online dating sites do you write profiles for?

All of them! When you purchase an online dating profile package (Diamond Comprehensive or Ruby Mini) you’ll indicate what site(s) you are on.

Do you write profiles for the LGBTQ community?

Can you share samples of your work.

Yes. Please contact me , and I will respond with sample excerpts. You can also see small samples in this article.

What payment methods do you accept?

Major credit cards and PayPal are accepted.

Do you give advice about dating?

I prefer the term counseling over advice. While I don’t formally coach, I’m happy to answer any questions you have in regards to dating. I definitely have lots of thoughts and insights from my own experiences that I can share and that you can use to navigate your dating experiences. 

Do you offer free consultations?

Yes. You can schedule your free 15-minute phone/Skype/Zoom consultation here .

Don’t see your question? Ask us!

What We Offer…

Packages & pricing.

All Packages Are Subject to our Satisfa ction Guaranteed Refund Policy

dating app ghostwriter

 Unlimited Profiles

Personalized Profiles Optimized for Each Site You Use

Expert Online Dating Guidance, Suggestions, & Answers to Any Questions

Detailed Photo Review and Feedback

Priority Access to Matchmaking Database

Have questions about our packages and services? Send us a message and we’re happy to explain!

What Past Clients Have to Say…

The profile is absolutely perfect.

“You did a great job crafting words with an authentic sounding voice to describe what I am looking for and who I am. Thank you so much!”

Tara, 48, Canada

I am so glad I stepped out and took that chance…

“Last year at this time I contacted you and you helped me with my profile. Just wanted you to know I was married on October 5th to an amazing man I met on “match.” I am so glad I stepped out and took that chance… Thought you’d be excited to hear the good news.”

Thank you so much!

“It is perfect, simple and to the point…just like me!” 

“Wow, I don’t think I would have seen myself like that.  I sound so good!  I appreciate the write-up.  Especially I appreciate how you summarized the type of guys I am looking for.  That would have been so challenging for me.”

received a lot of positive feedback on the profile.

“I just wanted to let you know that I received a lot of positive feedback on the profile. Several people said it’s one of the best they’ve read and many others thought my excitement and positivity for life came through. I’ve received hundreds of messages.” 

Thank you for the match.com profile you wrote for me.

“Ever since I started using it, my response rate on emails has gone from about 10% to 50%, and I’ve been getting more high quality dates. I was a little skeptical when I first, but clearly you know what you’re doing!” 

Things I Wish I Did Differently When I Was Dating

by Lydia | February 10, 2024 | Books , Featured , Psychology | 0 Comments

How Thoughtful Responses Shape Authentic Conversations

by Taylor | February 5, 2024 | Featured , Online Dating | 0 Comments

Instead Of Funny In Your Online Dating Profile, Use Vulnerability

by Lydia | January 30, 2024 | Books , Featured , Online Dating | 0 Comments

Best Bumble Prompts: Which To Choose and How to Answer Them

by Aja Becker | January 7, 2024 | Featured , Online Dating , Profile Excerpts , Quotes | 0 Comments

What Is Online Dating Success?

by Lydia | January 5, 2024 | Featured , Hidden Gem Clients , Online Dating , Personal Branding | 0 Comments

The Mindful Dating Path

The Mindful Dating Path: A Journal

Want to be more mindful of your experiences when dating? Use this interactive journal to help you get to the essence of you and make the right decisions.

I designed this dating journal to help you process thoughts and feelings as they relate to who you are deciding to spend time with. 

This journal is a mix of guided prompts and plenty of free flow. You may want to view it as a mix of a plain journal and an interactive workbook.

The prompts are recurrent based on  Date 1 ,  Date 2 ,  Date 3 and more.  You will flip around a bit, but that’s good, have fun with it!  You’ll likely re-read something you wrote.

How to Write A Great Online Dating Profile

With this book,  How To Write A Great Online Dating Profile , you will find dos and don’ts, before and after examples, and a template to follow. There is also advice on which photos to choose and how to craft email messages. You will also find full written samples and a questionnaire to use for idea generation.

dating app ghostwriter

The Pros and Cons Of Being An Online Dating Ghostwriter

Let’s be real, we all have tried to find love on a dating site. Dating apps like Tinder have given people the opportunity to meet a potential soulmate or catfish. We’ve all had that moment when a guy is right swipe worthy but after reading their profile, you send them quicker to the left than Beyonce. If you come across a profile that has the looks and personality, they’re either a catfish or got help from an online dating ghostwriter. Yes, I ghost write online dating profiles as a hustle. I am not matchmaker unless someone’s willing to pay for an extra fee. my purpose is to help clients write their personalities with words and find love. Here are the pros and cons of being an online dating ghostwriter.

1. PRO: You Get To Improve Your Creative Writing Skills

Having a creative profile will likely guarantee you a right swipe. Many clients may be witty in person but not online due to having trouble to put their personality in words. I have a lot of fun with the writing process because it makes you think of corny but funny pick up lines. Most importantly, its practice to improve my writing skills.

2. PRO: You Get To Work With Some Interesting Personalities

It’s important to have people skills, clients are never the same. I’ve dealt with single and coupled clients. Yes, there are some couples who use dating sites to find a third for a threesome or polyamorous relationship. Couples are actually easier to write about because you can shift between two personalities.

3. PRO: Bragging Rights

At the early stage of my ghostwriting, I edited profiles for friends and family. After only ghost writing for a year, three of my clients are engaged and ready to get married! They constantly tell me, “Your writing is the reason why I found my soulmate…I’ve matched with better guys since you fixed my profile”. It’s definitely an ego booster when working an unusual side hustle.

4. PRO: Money

There are people who will pay you to fix their Tinder profile! As a ghostwriter, you get to set up packages for clients to pick to improve their profile. Its best to create a website to offer these packages. Packages typically range from $50 – $300! A client paid me $300 to edit their profile, select their photos, and craft them 6 introduction messages. Adding certain features to packages gives you the opportunity to earn more but gives the client a better chance of finding a match.

1. CON: The Fear Of Clients Failing To Find A Match

We all have the fear of failing. It’s my responsibility to portray someone’s personality to attract others. Imagine being paid with someone’s hard earned money and not fulfilling them with impeccable service and results. Luckily, I haven’t had a client who hasn’t gotten a date after using my services.

10 Reasons Dating Your Coworker Is A Terrible Idea

2. con: clients potentially getting catfished.

There are some clients who believe that everything on the internet is real. In 2018 there should be a low chance of someone getting Catfished unless they want camera time with Nev and Max on MTV. I have a client who’s slightly shallow and stubborn, she will message any profile that has a picture of a guy who’s a popular model on Instagram. You just have to let the client play themselves and learn their lesson.

3. CON: You Stop Yourself From Dating Online

Friends always ask me, “You shouldn’t be single, you’re great at helping people find love.” Coaches don’t play the games, they have the players for a reason. After ghostwriting a few profiles, I decided to stray away from personally using dating sites because it can become an obsession. Everyone has a moment when they’re ready to find love. Adulting is hard enough, I don’t have time to juggle my life and someone else’s right now as an online dating ghostwriter.

Would you ever consider using an online dating ghostwriter to help edit your Tinder or Bumble profile? Comment below and share this article with your friends looking for love!

Feature image source: www.unsplash.com, i tried the keto diet and it worked, the 8 guys you hook up with at miami university, how to start your internship off right, what to do if you hate your job, 20 thoughts everyone has when applying for jobs, the pros and cons of dating apps, 9 realities of your first job out of college, 10 signs you are (or used to be) a server.

  • Appalachian State University
  • Arizona State University
  • Auburn University
  • Baylor University
  • Boston College
  • Boston University
  • California Polytechnic SLO
  • California State University Northridge
  • Case Western Reserve University
  • Clemson University
  • Connecticut College
  • CSU Long Beach
  • East Stroudsburg University
  • Emerson College
  • Florida State University
  • George Washington University
  • Georgia State University
  • Grand Valley State University
  • Hofstra University
  • Illinois State University
  • Indiana University
  • Indiana Wesleyan University
  • Iowa State University
  • James Madison University
  • Johnson and Wales University
  • Kansas State University
  • Kent State University
  • Liberty University
  • Loyola Marymount University
  • Loyola University Chicago
  • Loyola University Maryland
  • Michigan State University
  • Mississippi State University
  • New York University
  • Northeastern University
  • Northern Illinois University
  • Ohio State University
  • Ohio University
  • Pennsylvania State University
  • Plymouth State University
  • Providence College
  • Purdue University
  • Rutgers University
  • San Diego State University
  • San Francisco State University
  • Southern Methodist University
  • St. John’s University
  • Stony Brook University
  • SUNY Binghamton
  • Syracuse University
  • Temple University
  • Texas Tech University
  • The College of New Jersey
  • Tulane University
  • University of Alabama
  • University of Arizona
  • University of Arkansas
  • University of California Berkeley
  • University of California Irvine
  • University of California Los Angeles
  • University of California Riverside
  • University of California San Diego
  • University of Central Florida
  • University of Colorado Boulder
  • University of Connecticut
  • University of Delaware
  • University of Florida
  • University of Georgia
  • University of Iowa
  • University of Kansas
  • University of Maryland
  • University of Massachusetts
  • University of Miami
  • University of Michigan
  • University of Minnesota Twin Cities
  • University of Mississippi
  • University of Missouri-Columbia
  • University of New Hampshire
  • University of North Carolina
  • University of Pittsburgh
  • University of South Carolina
  • University of Southern California
  • University of Tennessee at Knoxville
  • University of Texas at Dallas
  • University of Utah
  • University of Virginia
  • University of Wisconsin Madison
  • Virginia Tech
  • West Virginia University
  • Los Angeles
  • Minneapolis
  • New York City
  • Philadelphia
  • San Francisco
  • Tallahassee
  • Washington DC

Modern Communication’s Big Open Secret

The assumption that we are the sole authors of our texts and emails is a collective fiction—but a useful one.

A photo collage of four different hands all typing on a keyboard at once

Updated at 1:00 p.m. ET on April 15, 2021.

In the late-19th-century play Cyrano de Bergerac , the eloquent title character gets a woman to fall deeply in love with another man by ghostwriting letters, as him, to her. The details are a bit messy—Cyrano himself is also in love with the woman, the woman is his cousin, and the other guy dies in Act IV—but much of the play’s drama revolves around the letters’ secret authorship.

One hundred–plus years later, in the age of texting and emailing, the world is full of Cyranos: Getting quick, surreptitious help writing high-stakes messages has never been easier, whether that means enlisting friends to consult on a flirty note in a dating app or turning to a co-worker for assistance on a sensitive email to your boss. Although this sort of collaboration is widespread, people still generally assume that the messages they receive were composed by the sender alone. Acknowledging how many of our supposedly one-on-one communications are written by committee would risk undermining the comforting illusions that “private” conversations are truly private and that we are all enlightened communicators who never need to look to other people to know what to say.

The feature of written communication that makes this kind of ghostwriting possible in the first place is “revisability,” to use a word introduced to me by Jeremy Birnholtz, a communication professor at Northwestern University. Because people can perfect messages before sending them, Birnholtz said, they often take advantage of that ability to increase the odds of a positive response. Plus, the fact that digital messages can be saved indefinitely, to be reviewed at any time, can add pressure to nail diction and tone.

Revisability is not a 21st-century innovation—it’s a feature of letters too, as Cyrano can attest. But what’s different about today’s ghostwriting is how quickly and easily it can happen: To get instant feedback, all you have to do is forward an email thread or screenshot a text exchange. This ease has enabled ghostwriting to flourish in all manner of everyday communications, whatever the author may need a second opinion on.

Read: How it became normal to ignore texts and emails

Work seems to be a particularly fertile environment for ghostwriting, because people tend to be navigating power dynamics as they make requests, and trying to balance directness and politeness. Elias Boyer was recently in that position—he felt he was being taken advantage of at work, because he had been assigned additional responsibilities when his supervisor was laid off but never received a raise. Boyer, a 30-year-old construction-project manager in Philadelphia, wanted to send an email to convey his frustration, and the “first draft, filled with emotion, was accusatory, confrontational, aggressive, and truthfully quite scattered,” he told me. Suspecting that the draft might be too raw for a professional message, he asked his parents to review it.

His mother and father, both law professors, stepped in as ghostwriters, toning down some of the emotion and finessing some of the wording. After multiple rounds of edits, Boyer ended up with a more levelheaded message that focused primarily on his request for more money but still indicated his frustration. And it was effective: Sending it started the conversation that led to a raise. (He acknowledged, though, that not everyone can turn to two legal experts for help refining a written argument.)

Ghostwriting can also work against dynamics that give some workers advantages over others. Sexist norms can discourage women from advocating for themselves , and to try to offset this, Liberty Howard, a 32-year-old who works at a tech company in London, asks male friends to review important work emails in which she’s making a request. “They generally make them shorter, less apologetic, and more assertive and fact-based,” Howard told me. “I sometimes feel a bit uncomfortable sending them as they have been edited, as they make me feel as though I’m being demanding. But they always get a better result.”

Another context that’s conducive to ghostwriting is dating. “I’m even my single friends’ single friend,” Rebecca Acevedo, a 30-year-old who works in customer service in Queens, New York, told me. As such, her specialty is helping newly single friends interpret whether a message from someone they know is flirtatious. (In most cases, Acevedo thinks it is, but her advice is not to take it seriously until the person actually asks you out.) *

Of all her ghostwriting work, Acevedo is proudest of a tactic she’s developed to shut down unwanted romantic attention. For instance, if her friends get a message complimenting them on their appearance, Acevedo advises, “just say thank you—that’s it. I’ve helped people with ‘This is just not working for me’ kind of texts, I’ve given feedback on ‘I think we need a break’ kind of texts, but I think the best one, the pièce de résistance, is just say thank you. Let him just sit in that.”

Read: Why is dating in the app era such hard work?

Stephanie Tong, a communication professor at Wayne State University, has found in her research on online dating that it’s common for people to get their friends’ input when sending messages or swiping through potential matches. “A lot of times, people want to eventually introduce their significant other into their social networks, but with online dating, people are doing that at a really early phase,” Tong told me. “Friends are actually getting in on the selection [process], which is new in a way.” The future significant other just doesn’t know it yet.

To some extent, a ghostwriter’s value comes from their writing expertise and overall social savviness, but just as crucially, it is about being able to observe a situation with some emotional remove. Many of the people I interviewed for this story turned to the ghostwriters in their life for validation, to make sure that what they were saying—and, for some of them, what they were feeling—was reasonable. Whether they realized it or not, they were engaging in something like therapy; the writer expressed their unfiltered feelings, and the ghostwriter listened, empathized, and then figured out how to best package that emotional truth in written form. This might be another reason ghostwriting is so common: Regardless of the outcome of a message, the process of writing it collaboratively can provide some emotional release and bring people closer together.

On the other side of the exchange, ghostwriters are game to provide help and validation, because doing so is an act of love—a way of fortifying the people they’re closest to for difficult conversations. Samuel Vo, a 42-year-old middle-school teacher in Fontana, California, told me that he’s occasionally helped his wife, a pharmacist, write work-related communications for about 20 years. He assists her with phrasing requests to superiors and, because English is not her first language, polishes her spelling and grammar. This process, which can include drawn-out conversations about technical aspects of her job, might take hours for even a two-paragraph email. “It's a pain, but I do it because I love my wife and I want to help her out,” Vo said.

The benefits of ghostwriting are clear enough for the sender, but recipients might feel misled if they learn that a message they thought was personal was actually ghostwritten. This reaction, though understandable, is in some cases a little misplaced: Getting help writing a message doesn’t necessarily mean it’s not genuine. Consulting ghostwriters can be a sign that someone cares enough to try to get the message just right.

At any rate, ghostwriters’ roles usually stay secret. One strange dynamic is that although everyone is aware of ghostwriting on their side of a conversation, they very rarely imagine that the person they’re emailing or texting is doing the same thing.

Perhaps we choose to overlook ghostwriters because recognizing their true influence would mean questioning two collective fictions about the nature of one-on-one communication. The first is the expectation—or, really, the hope—that sensitive conversations will be kept private. Even if people wouldn’t exactly be surprised to learn that their most intimate or vulnerable messages have been shared with people whom the recipient trusts, it’s certainly less stressful to just pretend that this doesn’t happen. As Acevedo put it to me, “You don’t want to know that [your significant other’s] best friends know what’s going on in your relationship.”

The second illusion is that people benefit from appearing to have all the answers. Especially in the contexts of work and dating, people often feel pressure to present themselves as more capable and confident than they actually are. And the person on the other end of the conversation might react poorly if they detect a ghostwriter’s presence—your boss might feel weird about giving you a raise if they knew your parents were telling you what to say, and your partner might hesitate to accept your apology if they knew it was written by your best friend. Acknowledging the importance of ghostwriting would reveal how much help we get from other people; instead, we strain to put up a front of self-sufficiency.

Communication would perhaps be more honest and less stressful if we could somehow do away with these two myths, though there aren’t many examples of what that would mean in practice. Tong wonders whether the collaborative aspects of online dating she studied might eventually be brought more into the open, instead of being kept between friends. In her research, she came across elements of dating-app design in which the two myths had begun to erode: Tinder has a feature that allows users to send a profile they come across to a friend, and Wingman and Chorus, two nonmainstream apps, are expressly designed for people’s friends to manage their dating life.

It is hard to imagine what parallel developments in other realms of digital communication would look like: People aren’t going to start cc’ing their parents on emails to their boss or forming group chats with their significant other and their best friend in order to resolve relationship issues. The value of even the illusions of privacy and self-sufficiency is too high. So we’ll keep relying, secretly, on the Cyranos in our lives.

* This article has been updated to clarify Rebecca Acevedo's advice about interpreting a possibly flirtatious message.

Meredith Golden will be your dating app ghostwriter for the price of an arm and a heart

Meredith golden is a dating app ghostwriter who charges up to $2k a month for her writing and consulting services, and people actually use it..

Wes Schlagenhauf

Published: June 30, 2020

Updated: February 09, 2024

It takes time to learn the ropes of dating apps. And, tricks of the trade like putting a puppy in your main photo, subtly hinting that you own a yacht, and striking a tasteful balance in your bio between wit and sensitivity make you a billion percent more likely to match with someone. 

Meredith Golden will be your dating app ghostwriter for the price of an arm and a heart

But, if you don’t have time for trial and error, it’s time to call in a professional. Someone like Meredith Golden: Dating app ghostwriter.  

Now hiring: Your love life’s editor-in-chief

Hailed by The Cut as New York City’s “Tinder Whisperer,” Golden began charging for her services in 2015, after gaining a reputation for being a real dating profile wiz. 

Now, she spends her days swiping, “liking,” and flirting in the voice of her female and male clients — most of whom are busy Manhattan professionals in their mid-30s.

She works with no more than 10 clients at a time, and charges up to $2k a month . Of course, for individuals merely looking for tips, Golden offers a $500/month diagnosis and consultation package.

But this one’s fer freeee… 

Golden has 2 lists of people women should stay away from: One titled “we don’t date them,” highlighting deal breakers like flossing at the table during a first date, and another titled, “creeps,” AKA racists, people who joke about pedophilia — that sorta thing.

Wait. So don’t date creeps now? Sheesh. First they tell ya breakfast is the most important meal of the day, then they say it’ll kill you — is nothing sacred??

Follow us on social media

Get the 5-minute news brief keeping 2.5M+ innovators in the loop. Always free. 100% fresh. No bullsh*t.

Thank you for submitting the form!

100% free crm.

Nurture and grow your business with customer relationship management software.

  • United States
  • United Kingdom

We're All Each Others' Ghostwriters On Dating Apps

On dating apps, we’re all each others’ ghostwriters, more from wellness.

dating app ghostwriter

The Match Lab

Struggling to write a good dating profile, don’t know which photos to use in your dating profile.


We create authentic dating profiles that get high-quality matches.

By selecting your best photos and writing you a catchy bio, we’ll provide you with a new dating profile that’ll help you attract compatible matches on any dating app: Hinge, Match, Tinder, Bumble, OkCupid, eharmony, and more.

Hi, I'm Dan.

Founder & director of the match lab.

I’m a social psychologist and dating expert with a bachelor’s degree from Cornell University, a master’s degree in psychology from UCLA, and a PhD candidacy in psychology from UCLA. I’m also an award-winning writer, poet, and comedian.

I’ve spent years analyzing how people behave on dating apps. By tracking behavioral data from millions of dating app users, I’ve figured out why some dating profiles succeed and others fail.

​I run The Match Lab with a single purpose: to help you achieve your dating goals. I’ll create you a new dating profile that’s designed to attract high-quality matches on any dating app ( Hinge, Match, Tinder, Bumble, OkCupid, eharmony, and any others ).

Dan 1

“Working with Dan was a pleasure: he was responsive, thoughtful, and meticulous every step of the way. Most of all, he helped me cut through the noise and craft a profile that conveys who I uniquely am and that attracts the kind of people I want to meet.”

“The Match Lab is special. Hiring them is the best investment you can make in your dating life.”

Stop guessing how to create a good dating profile.

Start using a dating profile that actually works..


  1. Meredith Golden will be your dating app ghostwriter for the price of an

    dating app ghostwriter

  2. You Matched With Someone Really Great Online. This Is Her Ghostwriter

    dating app ghostwriter

  3. Als Dating Ghostwriter verhelfe ich dir zu mehr Erfolg beim Online Dating

    dating app ghostwriter

  4. Meet the matchmaker using her skills as a dating app ghostwriter

    dating app ghostwriter

  5. Dating app ghostwriter with dos and don’ts for creating online profile

    dating app ghostwriter

  6. Ghosted on Dating Apps? Here's how to solve the problem...

    dating app ghostwriter


  1. Wenn der Ghostwriter ins Studio kommt 🥴 #deutschrap #studio

  2. 5 Creepy True Dating App Horror Stories

  3. Instead of ghosting.. send this #datinglife #dating #datingadvice #datingtips #datingapps

  4. Ghostwriters Funding Credits (1992-1995)


  1. You Matched With Someone Really Great Online. This Is Her Ghostwriter

    Meredith Golden, 43, is a dating app ghostwriter. That means she handles everything on the digital side, up until a client secures a date. Molly Matalon for The New York Times. Meredith Golden ...

  2. How to Work as an Online Dating Ghostwriter

    Depending on your level of experience and expertise, you can start charging $80 to $100 per profile. Some veteran dating writers can make $200 to $300 per profile. If you get a job chatting and messaging with your clients' potential dates, you can start making $13 to $17 per hour, which can go up to $30 to even $50 an hour for more ...

  3. I'm a Dating App Profile Ghostwriter Who Pretends to Be ...

    Meredith Golden launched her dating app ghostwriting service in 2015. Meredith Golden, 45, is a dating app profile ghostwriter who works 12 to 14 hours a day. She earns up to $2,500 a month to ...

  4. PRESENTING: a Day in the Life of a Dating App Ghostwriter and Coach

    PRESENTING: A dating app ghostwriter and consultant who charges $2,500 a month shares what her job is like — and her best tips for creating the perfect profile. Meredith Golden launched her ...

  5. On Dating Apps, We're All Each Others' Ghostwriters

    Ghostwriting is "modern communication's big open secret," The Atlantic recently wrote . Katie Jacobs, 27, who is single and lives in New York City, has also handed her dating life over "to ...

  6. Online Dating Profile Professionals

    Eric Resnick and his team of dating profile ghostwriters will give you a no-cost, not risk assessment of how your profile stacks up against other daters. ... We've helped more than 25,000 singles create great online dating profiles with our dating app profile writing and review services! Get Your Free Profile Assessment Now! As featured in.

  7. The Matchmaker Who Flirts on Dating Apps for You

    How do you succeed on Tinder without really trying? Some New York singles have it figured out: They pay a dating-app ghostwriter to do the flirting for them. That's right, ladies. The next time a guy sends you a particularly witty opener on Coffee Meets Bagel, consider the possibility that it was written by a 41-year-old married mother of two on the Upper West Side.

  8. 5 Tinder do's and don'ts from a dating-app ghostwriter

    5 Tinder do's and don'ts from a dating-app ghostwriter. Analysis by Lisa Bonos. Assistant technology editor. February 7, 2018 at 7:00 a.m. EST. (iStock) Last month we revisited the Solo-ish ...

  9. 5 Tinder do's and don'ts from a dating-app ghostwriter

    Meredith Golden, married mother of two, will take over your dating apps and impersonate you for $2,000 a month - doing all the matching and messaging. Here are her do's and don'ts for finding a ...

  10. Meet the matchmaker using her skills as a dating app ghostwriter

    Prevent dating disasters and make real love connections for her clients. NBC's Savannah Sellers goes on the job with Meredith Golden, a New York-based ghostwriter for the online dating service ...

  11. Inside the world of dating profile ghostwriters

    Customers who use a swipe dating app, like Tinder or Bumble, can receive a three-sentence add-on for $24.99. Similar to Pimp My Profile, Pompey's company has its clients fill out a questionnaire ...

  12. Dating profile ghostwriter reflects on 'very troubling' profession

    TAMPA, Fla. - New dating platforms are bringing a new meaning to the idea of a "blind date." If you use dating apps, you could be talking to a ghostwriter and never know it. A "one-of-a-kind writing opportunity" is posted on Craigslist: Vida Dating hires ghostwriters to get dates for their clients on well-known sites and apps including Match, OkCupid, Tinder, and Bumble.

  13. ProfileHelper Offers Advice and Ghostwriting Services So Online Daters

    ProfileHelper provides online daters with services that can improve their profiles. Online dating is challenging enough, but if singles don't have confidence in their profile on their preferred dating app, it's even more difficult. That's why nearly 30,000 singles have turned to ProfileHelper for valuable critiques and ghostwriting ...

  14. Interview with Dating App Ghostwriter Meredith Golden

    Founder of Spoon Meet Spoon, Meredith Golden, on Talking Live with Dr. Robi Ludwig. In addition to being a dating expert, Meredith is a dating app ghostwrite...

  15. Hidden Gem Online Dating Profile Help

    Hi, I'm Lydia. As an online dating profile writer, it is my mission to ensure your online dating experience is a success by helping you start conversations, go out on dates and find what you are looking for. I've written 1000s of profiles, published books on the topic, and my reviews speak for themselves. I know what works and what doesn't.

  16. The Pros and Cons Of Being An Online Dating Ghostwriter

    Here are the pros and cons of being an online dating ghostwriter. 1. PRO: You Get To Improve Your Creative Writing Skills. Having a creative profile will likely guarantee you a right swipe. Many clients may be witty in person but not online due to having trouble to put their personality in words.

  17. The Ghostwriters Behind Our Emails and Text Messages

    In her research, she came across elements of dating-app design in which the two myths had begun to erode: Tinder has a feature that allows users to send a profile they come across to a friend, and ...

  18. Dating app ghostwriter with dos and don'ts for creating ...

    Dating app ghostwriter Meredith Golden joins WGN Morning News with tips for the dos and don'ts when creating an online dating profile. For more information, check out: spoonmeetspoon.com

  19. Professional Dating Ghostwriting Agency in Los Angeles

    Web site created using create-react-app. Ghostwriters Avenue is dedicated to offering you the online dating profile ghostwriters who provide extensive information about dating and relationships. 844-903-5691. Ghostwriting; Marketing; Publishing; Designing; Pricing ...

  20. Meredith Golden will be your dating app ghostwriter for the price of an

    Meredith Golden is a dating app ghostwriter who charges up to $2k a month for her writing and consulting services, and people actually use it. Wes Schlagenhauf. January 22, 2019. It takes time to learn the ropes of dating apps. And, tricks of the trade like putting a puppy in your main photo, subtly hinting that you own a yacht, and striking a ...

  21. On Dating Apps, We're All Each Others' Ghostwriters

    Dating can be a lonely business — but it doesn't have to be.I've known this since the 7th grade, when I fell in puppy love with my first real boyfriend.He wore Hurley shirts and had a Justin ...

  22. The Match Lab: Dating Profile Writing & Photo Selection Service

    I'm also an award-winning writer, poet, and comedian. I've spent years analyzing how people behave on dating apps. By tracking behavioral data from millions of dating app users, I've figured out why some dating profiles succeed and others fail. I run The Match Lab with a single purpose: to help you achieve your dating goals.

  23. Dating app users are building AI bots with ChatGPT to take the legwork

    With AI now ubiquitous across the world's top dating apps, some think we're headed for the Twilight Zone. ... I'm a senior writer covering social media and online culture. Following. Feb 14 ...

  24. Generative AI is shaking up online dating, with flirty chatbots

    In 2024, more people are using AI to flirt, whether it's generating messages for dating apps or helping to create profiles. In 2024, more people are using AI to flirt, whether it's generating ...